Dear Person in Line in Front of Me at the Grocery Store,
Hi! Remember me? I was in line behind you at the grocery store the other day. I just wanted to commend you for recognizing how important it is to make sure you get some “me time” every day, even if it is in line at the grocery store! I hope you appreciate that we all did our best not to bother you. Everyone except that irksome checkout clerk. I thought it was careless of her to interrupt your meditation with a silly question like, “Paper or plastic?” but I was happy that you didn’t let her bully you into making a hasty decision that would undoubtedly have had a profound impact on the remainder of your day. And for my part, I thought it was rather clever when I instructed my four year old daughter to “just look at the candy,” so as to not disturb your few moments of revery. I assure you that was a first for me and for my daughter. And, yes, I did find it charming that you seemed utterly gobsmacked at the notion that this particular grocer is requiring payment for your items. There was literally no way to see that coming. I’ll admit, I was on pins and needles for the several minutes you spent rifling through your pocketbook looking for some form of payment. (Thankfully, you waited until the cashier had finished ringing your items. Had you started looking earlier, you may have lost all of that personal time!) Imagine my relief when you found your checkbook! Good for you! Plus, I was happy to know that I have the option of paying for my groceries with a check. I’m not sure I even have a checkbook anymore, but I like to have options. Of course, I would need to get a check cashing card like the one you eventually found in that bottomless pocketbook of yours. (Another few minutes of heart-stopping drama that had me questioning whether I could even take another second of it all!)
Anyway, I thought I would write you this note, because the fact that you were able to collect all of your belongings and carefully place them back into that pocketbook – all the while maintaining the organizational system that allowed you to locate them so expeditiously in the first place – in just under three minutes meant that I had very little time to tell you how I really feel about you. And trust me when I tell you that I wanted very badly at that moment to tell you how I feel about you.