There comes a time in every hack blogger’s career (i.e., free time) when he must write the obligatory, “I Have Nothing to Write About” post. This, my friends, is that post for the staff and writers of MuchAdo. All of MuchAdo’s readers (by which I mean “Both of MuchAdo‘s readers”) have been so kind (which is to say, “have not openly criticized the blog”), that we simply cannot bear to write just any old thing* and risk any (either) of you losing faith in the quality (passable strings of mostly real words) you have come to expect from MuchAdo. The writers at MuchAdo strive for excellence in every post they write, and we believe that one of them may achieve that goal some day. Probably accidentally. Certainly not soon. But they’ll keep trying.
But Who’s To Blame?
In trying to determine why we’ve found ourselves in the midst of this creative famine (and, yes, I understand that we weren’t exactly awash in creative brilliance before this), it occurs to me that The World is truly to blame here. First, The World has held no Superbowls for several weeks now. Second, The World has not caused Joel Stein to send any additional e-mails (other than the one where he thanked me for plugging his book and called me a “condescending ass,” but I think we’ve pretty much ridden that train as far as it will go). Finally, The World has caused people to pretty much behave at the grocery store. In other words, what the heckfire is a guy supposed to write about?
Oh, sure, there is all that political stuff, but do we really want MuchAdo to be associated with those clowns? Exactly. Not until we get closer to the election and we can write something truly poignant (i.e., something that might get people to arrive here for some reason other than the hope of glimpsing Brett Keisel’s beard).
The Phrase That Pays (But Not Really)!
So, that leads me to the purposes of today’s post. First, is there is anything you would like to see us writing about? If so, leave a note in the comments section. (And remember to leave your name so we can thank you!) Second, are you tired of “us” referring to “ourselves” as a staff of writers and researchers when “we” are, in fact, just a guy in his boxers sitting on the couch? If so, leave a note in the comments section to let us know. (And remember to leave your name and e-mail so “we” can send you a picture!) Third, would you like to win a valuable prize**? If so, click on every link in this post and be the first to leave a comment including the phrase “I read every post and each one was better than the last. I laughed. I cried. It was better than cats (the animal, not the Broadway show — nothing is better than Cats). MuchAdo is the greatest!” (And remember to leave your name and e-mail so we can send you your prize!***)
But What If Someone Beats Me To It?
The editorial staff (ha!) at MuchAdo will verify all entries to determine whether all links were actually clicked. In the event that the first commenter claiming the grand prize*** failed to meet the requirements of the contest, the next commenter who meets the requirements will be our lucky winner. That means you should keep trying to win, even if dozens (HA!) of others have already posted the winning phrase.
* Items written or posted on New Year’s Eve were not included in this analysis.
** There is no valuable prize.
*** First place is a free lifetime† subscription to MuchAdo!!
†(Note: prize is only valid until MuchAdo becomes a subscription-based service, at which time prize winner will be required to pay like everyone else.)